It’s often my clients tell me they’re stressed and overworked parents who believed that they could have it all, but now consider that idea a fantasy.
It seems they never have enough time for their kids, husbands, and job. But the one person they rarely consider making time for is themselves! Parenting is all about being of service, but if you’re running on fumes, you’re doing a disservice to your children and to yourself. Children learn from actions more than words, so whatever atmosphere and attitude you present, they will absorb and emulate. So here are some tips on how to show them how to have it all and give it all:
Delegate, delegate, delegate. Get off the idea that you have to be a Martyr-Parent. Ask for help! Have someone come in and babysit for you even if it’s for 3 hrs a week, and do a trade if you can’t afford it. You could swap babysitting with another parent so that each of you have a night off.
You are not just a parent/spouse. You are also an individual! Everyone needs a change context. Go out once a week with your friends, or by yourself, or with your partner. One night a week is adult-night only and your kids will survive without you during that time. In fact, they need to know that you live a fulfilled life, filled with friends and interests. Seeing you leave the nest will inspire them to open their minds as well.
Do something positive for yourself every day. It can be meditation, a walk, a bath. Create your day by waking up a little before everyone else so that you can take control of your day rather than helplessly watching it unfold. When you’re empowered with your Authentic Soul, your day naturally goes well. If you are letting your Impostors run you and play the victim, then things will spiral out of control and you’ll lose where the hours in your day go.
Break up the routine. We get into them because it helps give us a system to guide our day, but they can be dangerous to our (and our children’s) attitudes and perspective. When you feel the monotony creep in, change your set plans and surprise yourself with an activity that you’ve been putting off that’s just for you, one that will satisfy your soul. Go to a museum, read that book you bought for a rainy day, take a long bike ride, or have coffee with a friend you haven’t seen in a long time.
Calendar in your date with yourself. If it’s in the calendar you’re more likely to make it happen. If you treat self-time as an equally important aspect of your day, you’ll be more inclined to make it happen.
Remember you are an individual person outside of the dominating roles you play every day. You are not a parenting robot, and you must replenish yourself so that you can give more of yourself to your family. If you take care of yourself, you will always be the gift that keeps on giving!